Competitor's Self-Care

Richard I Jontry, Ph.D., MAC, CAC Diplomate
This article first appeared in Stableviews

Competition equals anxiety for most people. We worry about our ability. We compare ourselves to other riders and our horses to other horses. We worry about how we and our horse looks; how nice our saddle and tack is; how much we weight and thus how we look in riding britches; how much it costs and can we afford it; and, certainly not last or least, are we good enough.

Much of what we feel comes from how we talk to ourselves. And most of us are not even conscious of the fact that we usually talk to ourselves all day long! It's one of those unconscious activities we engage in those goes on below the level of our awareness. Like most unconscious activities, when we bring consciousness to the process, to doing it, we start to hear it. And once aware of it, we can begin to change it.

An experiment: Stop reading and go about your business for a half-hour or so and bring your attention to what types of things you say to yourself. Write down what you become aware of, and then come back and finish reading this article.

Welcome back.

Most of us believe what is happening “out there” is what makes us feel the way we feel. “You made me angry, happy, sad...” is not an unusual statement to hear someone make. Or, “the competition really made me anxious.”

Take a look at the things you wrote. What kinds of things do you say to yourself? Do you say positive, encouraging statements, or negative dis-empowering statements?

Do you attribute your feelings to the situation, or to your thoughts?

Look at these questions:

1. What was the situation?
2. What did I think about the situation—how did I interpret it?
3. What did I say to myself (self-talk)?
4. How did I feel?
5. What would happen to my feelings if I changed my interpretation of the situation, and changed my self-talk?

Here's an example of how it works. A rider says negative things to themselves like; “I know I won't do well in the test.” “I not good enough to do this.” “Who am I kidding.” “I'll be devastated if I don't win.”

The negative thoughts (negative self-talk) then creates a state of anxiety or worry which makes it difficult to ride in a centered, balanced state. Our lessons and our practice sessions don't go as well as they could because our self-talk keeps us anxious. It becomes a vicious cycle and a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Successful athletes say positive things to themselves. When they find themselves saying something negative they “reframe” it and change it into something positive and they also imagine (visualize) themselves succeeding—having a good ride, performing well... winning.

Positive self-talk combined with active visualization of successful performance actually prepares us to do well—almost as effectively as actual practice!

The realization that you are mostly responsible for how you feel is empowering. Once you become aware of the distortions in your thinking you will be able to change negative thoughts to positive ones.

Accomplishing this can be an important step to living a happier, emotionally distressing free life, as well as becoming a riding better.

The concept and the steps are really quite simple. The incorporation of the ideas into your life can be a bit more difficult. It will take awareness, commitment to doing it, and determination to change some old patterns—which is never easy for us two legged humans.

I'd like to imagine that you begin catching yourself on the verge of negative self-talk and change your statements into positive ones. You arrive at the competition in great shape mentally, physically and emotionally. You enter your competition, you think you do well, and one of the judges scores you low. Remember, how you feel about this, and what you do with this information will depend upon how you interpret what happened.

One of the reasons there is more than one judge is because people see things differently. Even judges. Whenever you receive feedback, information about yourself from someone outside yourself, I recommend that you take a look at it. If it seems to fit and make sense, all well and good. In that case you may have received some very useful information about yourself. On the other hand, if the information seems wrong, or doesn't make sense to you, do a reality check with someone you trust, respect, and whose opinion you can count on. If your external source agrees with your perception and you both think the giver of feedback was off base, then toss out the feedback. Who knows, maybe the judge woke up on the wrong side that day, or maybe they were distracted while watching your ride.

Feedback can give us invaluable information about ourselves. It can also be inaccurate and inappropriate. When I can't tell the difference myself, I use other people to help me get clear.

After the competition review your ride, your mistakes, and your achievements. Give yourself credit for being a competitor. Develop some positive statements you can make to yourself to reinforce what you are going to work on in order to improve your riding.

Some final thoughts. Competition can be as relaxing as taking a hack if you learn to not focus on the outcome. Take pleasure in what you do, what you are learning, how involved you get in each aspect of riding... and let go of focusing on how well it comes out. No matter how well you want to do, if you are focused on doing well, you become tight and anxious. When you are focused on what your doing, rather than how well you are doing it, you become one with what you are doing and have a much better chance of doing it well.

This to requires a shift in conscious to achieve. Attend to what you focus on. When you find yourself focused on the outcome, on the end result, stop. Take some deep breaths, and shift your focus to what you are doing. It's similar to enjoying the ride, rather than focusing on getting to your destination.

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