An Empty Cup Richard I Jontry, Ph.D.,
MAC, CAC Diplomate |
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A full cup was a goal for many of us. A cup full of information about whatever we want to learn or are interested in keeps us reading, going to workshops and seminars, and talking with people. For many of us, we enter a new situation where we want to learn as question marks–open and excited to learn. Too often though we reach the point where we get comfortable with what we’ve learned and even though we may need to unlearn some of what we’ve learned in order to learn something we… we hold on to the old. We hold on because it’s comfortable and familiar. So we enter as question marks and leave as periods Pablo Picasso once said that every act of creation is first an act of destruction. We must destroy an old idea, habit or belief if we want to create something new. You have probably heard the expression Insanity is continuing to do the same thing over and over again even when it doesn’t work. All of life’s processes have their own life cycle, which mimics our global life cycle. Things are born, they reach maturity, and they die. So it is with what we learn and how we learn. What we know reaches a maximum maturity–or usefulness–and then its usefulness begins to decline. It needs to be replaced with a new learning, a new technique, a new approach. How many facets of your life have strategies that no longer work, or aren’t as useful as they once were? How many comfortable routines and habits do you automatically engage in that have past their prime? Do you greet and interact with your mate the same way you have for years and wonder why the magic has diminished? Do you interact with your teenage or grown children the same way you did 5 or ten years ago and wonder why they don’t talk to you about what’s important in their lives? Do you practice riding the same way, with the same exercises and routines and wonder why you’re not making progress? When things change (living things like horses, husbands, wives, children, friends are continually changing) yesterdays solutions to today’s problems may no longer work. New solutions, ideas, and answers become necessary in order to creatively and successfully deal with our ever-changing world. Most of us know this in different ways. We may have thought about starting something over, learning again, and adjusting old habits to be more receptive to new ideas. Are you clinging to training methods learned way back when? Are you reluctant–or just plain not know how -- to start the learning process with a clean slate that isn't really clean? Would you like to empty your cup but are afraid of what the new information will do to you feelings of competence; your self-image; your comfort level? I don’t know anyone who learned to walk without falling down, and then had to learn a new way to balance when they learned how to run. I don’t know anyone who learned how to talk without stuttering over some words, and then stuttered all over again if they undertook learning a new language. As human beings we learn by falling down. Our mistakes are our best teachers. However, as human beings we also have this incredibly important and sometimes cumbersome thing called an ego. And once our ego is developed and strong we resist any activities that may threaten it. Where we once giggled when we fell as young children, we now avoid falling at all costs. It’s not only our bodies we’re afraid of injuring, it’s also our self-esteem. In previous articles (Energy Therapy and Sports — Stableviews also at http://drjontry/articles/energy.htm and Competitor’s Self-Care (Stableviews also at http://drjontry/articles/compselfcare.htm) I wrote about the importance of looking at our core beliefs. Some core beliefs (our underlying beliefs about ourselves) have to do with our skills, creativity and ability to learn new things. Take a moment and check out your belief about how easy it easy for you to learn, or do something new. Possibly you have a belief lurking in the background that impedes your desire and willingness to let go of something comfortable and move on to something new. And please bear in mind that I am not advocating tossing out everything you do and doing everything differently. Although that might be an interesting experiment, it’s not the point. I think you know the difference. I invite you to consider asking yourself the following questions: "What’s no longer as useful as it once was? What can I let go of? What do I need to approach differently? Who has something new to teach me? Roger von Oech wrote that everyone has a "risk muscle" and you keep it in shape by trying new things. If you don’t use it, it atrophies. He quotes Arthur Koestler who said: "If the creator had a purpose in equipping us with a neck, he certainly meant for us to stick it out." What can you do differently to, this week? How can you exercise your risk muscle in doing something new? Remember, "you can’t try," saidYoda–"you can only do it, or not do it." Find a young child and look at
the joy, excitement and delight you see in their face as
they attempt something new. That energy is still in you.
The fear is from your ego. The excitement is from your
desire, your innate urge to learn and experience new ways
of doing things. I invite you to reconnect with the
delight you have for your own learning and growth.
It’s in there. |
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